The Quicksbottom Morris Song


This is a parody of a well-known bawdy English song, The Cuckoo’s Nest. Technically, it should be sung by a woman, but hey, lets not get too technical!

A Bottom That Is Quick
        (The Quicksbottom Morris Song)

(Shamelessly adapted from “The Cuckoos Nest” by Trevor Hancock, Quicksbottom Morris Man) (Hear us sing the chorus at the beginning of our dance Blackened Face & Stick - ed.)

As she was a-walking one morning in May
She met a Morris dancer and unto him did say
My love I am inclined, and I’ll tell you me mind
That me inclination lies with your blackened face and stick

Chorus:
Some like a man with his hankies, bells and flowers
And some like a man who can jig away for hours
Ah but give me a man with his blackened face and stick
And his top hat and his feathers and a bottom that is quick

Me darlin’ says he, I am cynical and old
And I scarcely can believe that your tongue could be so bold
Yet I see it in your eyes, and it fills me with surprise
That your inclination lies with me blackened face and stick

Me darlin’, says she, if you see it in me eyes
Then think of it as wond’rous and do not be surprised
For I love you, m’dear, and I’ll marry you, I swear
If you’ll let me clap me hands on your blackened face and stick

Chorus

Me darlin’ says he, I cannot make that choice
For me father often told me that I would lose me voice
If me tophat I should lose and me stick should be abused
So have no more to do with me blackened face and stick

Me darlin’ says she, you will not lose your voice
For common sense should tell you it is a pleasing choice
For you were put into this world to dance and use your stick,
And to help a lass to heaven with a bottom that is quick

Chorus

Me darlin’ says he, I cannot you deny
For you’ve surely won me heart with the roving of your eye
Yet I see it in your eyes that your courage is surprised
So gently clap your hand on me blackened face and stick

So this couple they got married and they went to bed right quick
And now this Morris dancer has learned a brand new trick
In their small country cottage they often share his stick
And he helps his lass to heaven with his bottom that is quick

Chorus